all in one

i wasn't in the good mood in this few days but i managed to handle it n settled it by myself.
was lying on my bed to think about my life-my past n my future in the middle of the nite.
u know, i like to talk about our life, the incredible journey that i've gone through, the ups n downs.

i used to bear with lotsa things, untill i felt like i've beaten by the enemies n fell frm the cliff.
Problems love me alot .

since that day i couldn't sleep well, i decided to check my msg in the phone coz sometimes i open the msg but i got no time to read or reply it so i just leave it there.so if u msg me n i din't reply, dun blame me.haha.

i've learned something from some of the msgs and the msgs were frm the same person. i know we might nt be seeing each other anymore and less contacting although we were quite close last time, but i do really hope that u'll forgive me for what i've done last time. and yes ,i still owe u an answer.(i remebered it when i read the msg something like this... - dun worry la, i wont whack u one...although i memang wanna whack you)haha.

the messages are so meaningful, sorry la now only i noticed about it. and things that happened on you did happened on me too. so i would like to show the messages here...hope others can learn from it too.
1)......u played a significant role in my gap year....(i feel so guilty when i read this)

2)...i'm really concerned about u, i'm sorry if life is not being very kind at the moment. but there's always good in the end. u'll pull through and emerge stronger....blagh...(ok tis msg is gr8, i felt better after reading this)

3) friendship problems are caused by misunderstanding. we might mean well, but say and do bad things instead. and worse, we seldom realise what we did wrong. coz unless we see ourselves in a video, we don't really know how we look and sound to others. it's very upsetting when a frenconstantly mekas life harder for u.( I LOVE THIS)

4)....hide your life actually doesn't indicate strenght...a truly strong person has nothing to hide.because they know they cannot be shaken easily. in fact hiding can be dangerous coz it sends wrong messages. you might accidentally hurt ppl and make them feel u dun care abt them.(THIS IS ME)

alot more...so lazy to scroll the keypad.nenene.

so for ppl who misunderstand me, please read no 3 and 4. juz wanna tell u all that i'm living in my own way. i'm not forgetting u all, if u dun trust in me, there's nothing i can do. it's like u have ur own frens and i have my own frens in uni now, u cant expecting that i'll follow u and respond to the way you want right? give me some space. u asked me out bcoz u got nobody to call or wat? will u still remember me when u r with ur big bunch of frens? i dun think so lo....juz dun be so emo to write something which is untrue when i din't respond to the way u want.

one more thing...to be honest, sometimes i really dun feel like wanna go out wif u all. u know y....everytime when we go out, u'll talk about results, academic things blagh blagh...i feel so stressed. Now i tell you, it's very hard to breath when when u talk about this. so i'll juz keep my mouth shut n pretended like i'm enjoying in our conversation. (i din't show my muka busuk only k)i hate to hear all this since in high school.

it's very obvious this is an emo post. juz to tell everyone tat i love my life now, i love to be alone, i'love solitary, i'll still drive around whenever i'm in bad mood. i dun like to tell ppl about my problems (unless i feel like i wanna tell). i dare to post this because of ...refer to no4. tats all for now...no offence ok. this is wat i've keep for so long, it's time to release the pains n voice out everything. hope u'll understand this la....