1) “That looks cute.”For the most part, men hate cute. We don’t want to hear about it, we don’t want to see it, and we sure as helldon’t want to be it. If we come down stairs after getting dressed and you tell us we look cute, there’s a 100percent chance we’re changing. We’re supposed to be your protector, your rock, and cute does not fit into thatpicture.
2) “We need to talk.”These four words shut off a man’s brain faster than long division. When men hear you say that they immediately gointo flight mode. And anything they can do to get out of this conversation—and better yet, your apartment—they will. There are plenty of other ways to approach a delicate conversation, and getting us in a place where we feelcomfortable is a good start.
3) “It’s just a game.”Actually, it’s not just a game. Sports are a major part of our lives and the outcome has as much to do with our moodas just about anything else. Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it immature? Maybe. But it’s life. Sometimes we just care too much. We understand that it doesn’t make sense, but you should be happy that we’re that passionate about something. Telling us that “it’s just a game” is like us telling you that Oprah’s just a talk show host.
4) “Nothing’s wrong.”Please don’t tell us nothing’s wrong. The look on your face could make the toughest guy on the planet weep like athird-grade girl and your arms are crossed so tight you might explode. We’re not mind readers; tell us what’sgoing on. And don’t make us guess because—believe me—you won’t like whatwe come up with.
5) “I sound like my mom.”The mere fact that you might turn into your mom someday scares the hell out of us. Don’t say it, even in jest—it’s notfunny. We actually believe (and pray) that the saying “every woman ends up looking like their mother” is an oldwives’ tale. If we didn’t, no one would ever get married.
6) “I just want to be friends.”No you don’t. You just want us to stop calling you. This is a lot like pulling off a band-aid. Do it quick—don’tprolong the agony. Most of us take “I just want to be friends” as “There’s still a chance,” so if there isn’t justmake it a clean break and move on. Everyone will be much better because of it.
7) “Size doesn’t matter.”Don’t lie to us. We know it does, and we’re doing our best to make up for it in other ways. It’s best just to notsay anything at all.
8)“What are you wearing?”We’re wearing whatever’s clean or whatever you tell us to. We don’t plan out our wardrobe days in advance, butwe do actually try and look presentable. It may not work a lot of the time, but we do give it a shot. Giving us direction is completely encouraged though, so go ahead and suggest … nicely.
9) “Do you think she’s pretty?”Of course we do, our standards are much lower than yours. But just because we check her out doesn’t mean we think anyless of you.
10) “Which outfit do you like better?”90 percentof the guys out there are not going to tell you which outfit they like better: They’re going to try to pick the oneyou like better.
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